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Questions and AnswersQ: What has 2 legs but can't walk ? *Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because it was feeling crummy.
*Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling? A: By plugging his nose.
*Q: Why did the kid through butter out the window? A: To see butterfly.
*Q: Why did the kid put corn on the trampoline? A: To make pop corn.
*Q: I have holes and I soak up water what am I? A: a sponge
Q: What do penguins use for napkins? A: flapskins
Q: Why did the bunny cross the road? A: To show his girlfriend he could do hip-hop
Q: What do you call a cat that is frozen? A: catsicle
Q: What do corn wear to bed? A: silk
Q: Why do you go to bed? A: because the bed cant come to you
Q: The owl and the pussycat went to sea but the end of our story's quite sad. A: The owl pushed the pussycat over the edge `cause her gameboy was driving him mad.
Q: Why did the teacher excuse the firefly? A: When you got to go you got to go
Q: What is the one word a dog can say ? A: Bark
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: It had a virus
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: It was feeling crummy.
Q: What do you take before every meal? A: A "seat"!!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Q: There were 5 cats on a couch. One jumped off. How many were left? A: NONE, they were all copy cats!
Q: What is a baby's motto? A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!
Q: What must you do before you get board a bus ? A: Get on it!
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch
Q: What did one fish say to the other? A: if you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: because they live in schools.
Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary? A: The word smiles because there is a mile between each s.
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: a taxi driver.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant? A: a very nervous postman.
Q: What color is a burp? A: Burple!!
Q: What is black and white, white and black, black and white? A: A zebra caught in a revolving door!!
Q: What do dogs eat at the movie theatre ? A: Pup-corn
Q: What did the dog yell when it saw the pieces of a fallen tree ? A: Bark! Bark!
Q: What’s a dogs favorite dessert? A: Pup-cakes
Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road? A: To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q: Why do birds fly south? A: Because it's too far to walk
Q: Why did the cook get arrested? A: Because he beat up an egg.
Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders? A: To keep their pants up.
Q: What did the pig say when the man grabbed him by the tail? A: That's the end of me...
Q: Why was the man fired from the M&M Company? A: Because he threw away all the M&M's that had W's on them.
Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water? A: Mississippi River
Q: Which states are good for laughing? A: Idahohoho, Hohohowaii, Ohahahaio, and Oklahohohoma
Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation? A: Florida Keys
Q: Where do married women go? A: Mississippi
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: You are under cover
Q: What do the little people ride? A: mini van
Q: What is snake's favorite subject? A: Hiss - tory
Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? A. Because he had no "body" to go with!!
Q: I don't have lungs or a chest but I need air; I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have a mouth and I'm allergic to water. What am I? A: Fire
Q: I am found in the sea and on land but I do not walk or swim. I travel by foot but I am toeless. I'm never far from home. What am I? A: A snail
Q: I run but I never walk. I have a mouth but I never talk. I have a bed but I never lie. What am I? A: A river
Q: What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? A: Dill me in!
Q: What do you call a nervous celery stalk? A: An edgy veggie.
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor? A It was just a stage he was going through.
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!
Q: What's the difference between a baseball player and his tired dog? A: The ballplayer wears a complete uniform, but the dog only pants!
Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Penguin with a diaper rash!!
Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator door? A: Close the door, I'm dressing!!
Q: What do grown up dogs say to their puppies? A: Hush, puppies!
Q: Why was Mr. Cookie so sad A: Because he was feeling crummy
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: I don't know - it never made it across the road
Q: What do you call a cow with no feet A: GROUND BEEF
Q: Why do monkeys have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!!
Q: Why did the baby write a b on his knee? A: He wanted to be a "b knee" baby.
Q: What are the best days of the week in Food land? A: Fry-day & sundae!
Q: What did the cook give his girlfriend for their anniversary? A: A fourteen "carrot" onion ring!
Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Man, that hit the "spot."
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer!
Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: A man rode is horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? A: The horse's name was Friday.
Q: What is black, white, and 'red' all over? A: A skunk that got run over!
Q: Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long? A: because then It would be a foot
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling? A: By plugging its nose.
Q: So how did the race between the cabbage, tomato, and faucet go? A: Well, the cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
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